I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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