I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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