Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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