I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
