Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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