So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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