Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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