listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
