my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
