Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
