Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
