I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
