Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
