so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
