he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
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