Do vagina's smell?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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