shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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