She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
