Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
