the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
