SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
