No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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