Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
