dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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