just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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