Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
