Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
