He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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