if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
