That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
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The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
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I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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