hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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