You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
