He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
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Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
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I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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