i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
