At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
did i just pee glitter
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
