So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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