He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
