she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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