He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
