When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
