So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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