If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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