Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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