he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
