you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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