She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
