Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
