i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
wanna go halves on a baby?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
