there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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