Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
