His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just leave with hair like that
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize