why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize