Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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