We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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