Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
