He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
