Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Dicks are not precious.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize