Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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